Ik lees de laatste tijd vaak over ‘liegende’ moeders. Op Facebook, op Twitter, op het consultatiebureau en op het schoolplein. Iedereen wil dat haar kind het best/mooist/slimst/snelst/… is. En ik merk ook dat mensen een afkeer krijgen van die positiviteit.
Maar nu loop ik tegen een heel ander fenomeen aan. Ik ben namelijk altijd heel open en eerlijk over onze kinderen en over ons gezin. Als het goed gaat, gaat het goed. Voel ik me vreselijk door een slechte nacht, dan zeg ik dat ook. Toen de oudste met 17 maanden nog steeds niet liep, maakte ik me echt geen zorgen en ergerde ik me ook niet aan de moeders die vertelde dat hun kind met 11 maanden al liep. Elk kind is anders, elk kind heeft zijn eigen ontwikkeling. Maar terug naar mijn ‘probleem’. Ik krijg door al die berichtgeving over opscheppende moeders bijna het gevoel dat ik niet meer openlijk ‘trots’ mag zijn op mijn kinderen. Het voelt bijna alsof je niet meer mag zeggen: mijn kind slaapt écht door, mijn kind eet écht goed, mijn kind blijkt écht een slimmerik te zijn.
Waarom is dat nou? Waarom voel ik me gedwongen om mijn kinderen te ‘downgraden’ om maar niet opschepperig over te komen. Wat nou als het gewoon zo is!? Mijn meisjes zijn namelijk echt lief, mooi, slim en luisteren (over het algemeen) goed. En als ik dat zeg, dan is het zo. Natuurlijk zijn er dagen dat ik ze achter het behang kan plakken… Maar dan zeg ik dat ook. Zijn we dan nu klaar met het afkatten van positieve (en waarschijnlijk gewoon hele trotse) moeders? Mooi!
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En ik zeg dan, gewoon open en eerlijk blijven! Dat is wel net zo eerlijk naar je kids toe, wat anderen vinden of denken is niet zo belangrijk. Eerlijk zijn naar jezelf en je gezin des te belangrijker!